Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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