I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
