shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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