At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
