omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
