Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
