So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
