you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
