Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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