About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we made out on top of his cat.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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