If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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