I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
