I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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