home. puking in laundry basket.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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