porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
