READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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