Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
