Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
