Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
