My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
What a dumb baby whore.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
