.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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