Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
