I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
