I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
