My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I did not marry a roomba.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
