You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
