Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
