Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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