I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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