69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
only you would photoshop your dick
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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