so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
