I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
