just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
