I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
