Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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