Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
