I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
