he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
