Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
