Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
