White coat. Heels.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
