Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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