i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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