Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
