Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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