that's an acceptable place to lick
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
