worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
