You're completely useless in the revolution.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
