We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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