There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
